I'm Here
by anneryn7
Summary: AU. "Reid?" I asked. He nodded and I reached up and mopped the tears off of my face with the backside of my hand. "You're really here?" I wanted to kick myself, because of how pathetic I sounded. "Did you really think that I would let you go through this alone?" He asked me, before stepping closer. His arms were around me and I sank into them and enjoyed his embrace.


**A/N: This is my first attempt at dabbling in the** _ **Criminal Minds**_ **fandom. Please be kind! I got inspired during the** _ **Burn**_ **episode. I ship Garcia and Reid so hard! I hope you enjoy! Reviews are welcomed!**

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 **I DO NOT OWN** _ **CRIMINAL MINDS**_ **OR THE CHARACTERS.**

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I paced my motel room. I didn't know what to do. Derek still won't return any of my calls. Can I really go and watch that man die? It's what he needs me to do. I know that. I just don't know that I'm strong enough to do to it. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it alone. This is such a mess. _**I'm**_ a mess. I wish Derek was here or at the very least that I could hear his voice. I just need someone.

I jumped when a knock sounded on my room door. I'm not expecting anyone… I don't know who it could be… but I know who I want it to be… I took a deep breath and answered the door. I stood in surprise, when I saw Reid standing in front of me.

"Reid?" I asked. He nodded and I reached up and mopped the tears off of my face with the backside of my hand. "You're really here?" I wanted to kick myself, because of how pathetic I sounded.

"Did you really think that I would let you go through this alone?" He asked me, before stepping closer. His arms were around me and I sank into them and enjoyed his embrace. Any resolve that I had crumbled. I clutched him closer to me and sobbed into him. He just held me and let me cry. I'm feeling too much and crying is the only thing that is helping me from screaming. I feel like I'm going to explode.

"Penelope, why don't we go inside?" He suggested, gently. I nodded against him and let him lead me back into my room. He didn't let go of me, but shut the door behind us. "I… I'm not sure what to say, exactly, but I understand why you're doing this. I've been where you are and I understand. I just couldn't let you go through this alone." He explained. I looked up at him and thanked the heavens that this beautiful genius was here for me. Without knowing it, he had said exactly what he needed to, to make me feel better, to make me feel like I wasn't so alone.

"Thank you, Spencer." I whispered.

* * *

We didn't speak much. We just sat together. I leaned against him and he held me. I told him that Greg Baylor had asked me to go to his execution. Spencer's face looked grim, but he nodded, nonetheless.

"I'll go with you." He told me. I looked up at him in disbelief.

"Spencer, you don't have to do that. Really." I assured him.

"Penelope, I meant it, when I told you that you shouldn't have to go through this alone. I'm here. Let me be here for you." He pressed. I couldn't argue with that. I really couldn't. "Derek… he cares about you. He doesn't understand why you're doing this. He just wants you to be okay. He'll get over it." He tried to reassure me. I shrugged, meekly. I'm furious with Derek. He's my best friend. He's supposed to be here for me, through everything. But he's not here now and I don't really know how to handle it.

"It means so much to me, that you came out here, Spencer. You're a godsend." I sniffled, as I teared up. I've got to get my emotions under control. We have to leave here soon. I took a deep breath and excused myself, so I could change. I decided on a black dress with a white bow, that I had brought with me. I fixed my makeup and opted for a dark purple lipstick. I'm dressed for a funeral, but isn't that what I'm going to?

"Are you ready to go?" Spencer asked me. I nodded, knowing that I would never really be ready for this, but this is something that I need to do. I have to do this for him. I have to.

* * *

I took a deep, shaky breath as Greg's eyes found mine. Spencer's fingers laced themselves with my own and gave me a reassuring squeeze. I clutched his hand in mine, but I couldn't look away from Greg. I heard Greg being asked if he had any last words. His gaze bored into mine, as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Thank you." His voice was steady and I knew that coming was the right thing to do. I nodded to him.

"You're welcome." I mouthed back. I trembled, as they started the injection. It didn't take long for the life to leave his eyes. I couldn't look away. I didn't look away, until they closed the curtain. I took a deep breath and tried to will the tears building in my eyes to disappear. They didn't. I felt them pool down my cheeks.

"Let's get out of here." Spencer suggested, quietly. I nodded and followed him out of the room. He kept his hand in mine. Neither of us said anything, the entire ride back to our motel room. "I'm going to order some food. You should eat something." He told me. I just nodded. I can't get the lifeless image out of my head. I was suddenly glad that my flight back isn't until tomorrow. I doubt I would make it through a plane ride, tonight. "Penelope, why don't you take a bath?" Spencer suggested. I looked over at him. "It might help you relax.

"I-I don't want to be alone." I shook my head. He knelt down in front of me and took my hands in his.

"You're shaking." He breathed.

"I can't feel it." I whispered.

"Come on. Let's get you into the shower, at least. He helped me to my feet and led me to the bathroom. I followed him without question. He helped me take off my clothes. I felt frozen. Maybe he's right. Maybe a shower will help. He turned away, when I was down to my undergarments. He turned on the shower and took a step towards the door.

"Spencer, please…" I spoke up. He turned to face me. "Please don't leave." I begged. He nodded. And leaned against the bathroom sink. "Stay." I barely registered what I was saying. I just knew that I didn't want Spencer to leave. Earlier, I thought that Derek was the man I needed to get through this. Now, I know that I couldn't have gotten through today without Spencer. "Shower with me?" I asked him. He looked shocked for a moment, but nodded without hesitation.

He turned his back and started disrobing. I took off my undergarments and stepped into the shower. I flinched when the hot spray of water hit my body. I didn't realize how cold I really was.

When I heard the shower curtain close, I knew that Spencer had gotten in behind me. I started going through the motions of getting clean. I had washed the suds on my body and was about to wash my face when a new wave of grief hit me. I shook and let the soap wash off of my hands. Spencer pulled me to him and just held me. I cried against him, until I couldn't cry anymore. I don't know how long we stayed like that. Eventually, I stepped away from Spencer and tried to get it together.

He didn't say anything, just started washing my hair. I felt so safe with him. It's not just what we went through together today. It's everything. I've known Spencer for years and I've never really saw this side of him, at least not of this magnitude. He's just perfect.

* * *

We laid in bed together, in our pajamas, as we waited for the takeout to be delivered. Spencer ran his fingers over my wet hair, as I cuddled against him. We weren't talking, but it wasn't uncomfortable. I almost feel at ease. Given everything that's happened today, it's a miracle that I feel almost relaxed.

Someone rapped on the door and Spencer got off of the bed. He stopped as he walked by me, to place a kiss on my forehead. His kiss warmed me more than the shower had. It was unexpected, but completely welcomed.

* * *

We laid together, after eating a little dinner. I couldn't stomach much, but I ate what I could. I just feel completely exhausted. Spencer didn't seem to mind all of the affection. I was thankful for that. I needed it.

"You don't get enough credit, Spence." I told him, quietly. He glanced over at me, clearly surprised by my choice of words.

"What do you mean?" He inquired.

"Everyone knows that you're this gorgeous, boy genius, but I don't think everyone realizes just how good of a person you are. You care so much about everybody. And being here today… Just… God, Spence, I could never explain how much it means to me." I whispered, as a familiar burning sensation filled my eyes. I swallowed and managed to keep my tears at bay.

"Why wouldn't I want to be here for you, Penelope? You're my friend. I love you." He replied, like that explained everything. He made it sound so simple. Maybe it was.

"I love you, too." I breathed. I turned my face and pressed my lips against his cheek. The corner of his mouth turned up and he offered me a small half-smile.

"Whenever you need me, I'll be here for you." He promised

"What if I always need you?"

"Then I'll always be here." He reaffirmed. I glanced back at his lips and his hand cupped my cheek. He brought his face closer to mine, until his lips were hovering over my mouth. I forgot how to breathe. He touched his lips to mine and my heart sang. I felt it in my toes. This wasn't just a kiss. This was electric. I pressed my lips against his and returned it. He pulled away, before I was ready for it to end. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" I asked him, still dizzy from the kiss.

"Kissing you – I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that." He apologized.

"You didn't take advantage of me, Spencer. I wanted it." I admitted.

"You wanted it? You wanted me?" He asked me in disbelief. I nodded.

"Of course, I want you." The words barely left my mouth, before his lips were on mine again. This kiss was different. It was urgent, demanding, pleading, almost. Like he was afraid that I would change my mind at any given moment. I wasn't.

* * *

We held hands as we boarded the plane. We hadn't stopped touching, since last night. We kept the PDA minimal, but I felt better, knowing I could feel him. It's crazy how much one day can change things. We hadn't talked about what it meant, not really. But I didn't think that things would change, once we got back to D.C.

"If this was just… something to help you through Baylor's death and you don't want to pursue this, once we're home, I understand." Reid told me, quietly. I looked over at him, surprised.

"No. I want this. I want us. This feels right. Doesn't it?" I studied his face, watching for his reaction. He nodded and his thumb stroked my hand.

"It does." He seemed relieved, as he answered me. "What do you think Hotch will say?" He asked me, instead of pressing the issue further. I smiled, for the first time in a couple of days.

"I really don't know. I normally don't go in the field with you. I don't see how it could be that big of an issue." I told him, truthfully.

"What about Derek?" He asked the question that we would both have to face at some point.

"He'll either be okay with it or he'll get over it. We're friends. He knows that we're just friends. I'll talk to him, once we're back."

"We'll talk to him, together." He offered. I nodded.

"Together," I agreed.

* * *

Spencer got out of the cab with me. We held hands and carried our luggage in our free hands. He offered to stay with me tonight and I jumped on his offer. I'm not ready to stay alone, not yet. I saw Derek waiting on the steps outside of my building. His expression changed, when he saw that Reid was with me and that we were holding hands. He got up and walked over to us.

"You're back." Derek said, simply. I nodded.

"Yeah," I replied. I'm still angry with him. "Why are you here, Derek?" I asked him.

"I came to see you. I wanted to see how you were." He glanced at Reid, and then back at me.

"You know how I am. I left you at least three dozen messages and voicemails begging you to at least call me back." I told him, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want to get all worked up, again. I don't have the energy.

"I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm glad Reid was there for you, when I wasn't."

"Spencer has been amazing. I couldn't have gotten through yesterday, without him." I looked up at Derek. He looked guilty, but he didn't seem upset.

"Thank you." He addressed Spencer.

"Of course, I'd do anything for Penelope." He answered, sincerely.

"I know, pretty boy. Just don't break her heart." Derek told him, excusing himself. "I'll give Hotch a head's up. I'll let him know that you two won't be at work tomorrow." Derek started to walk away.

"What?" I asked him.

"Take the day to rest, baby girl. I'm sure both of you need it." He left. I looked over at Spencer. Did that really just happen?

"I think he's okay with it." Spencer gave me a small smile.

"I think he is, too." I agreed. He leaned down and kissed me. It felt right. I hate the circumstances that ended up bringing us together, but Spencer was there for me during one of the hardest days of my life. I'll forever be grateful to him, for that.

"We should get inside. I don't want you to catch cold." Spencer suggested. I nodded.

"Thanks for being here, Spencer."

"I'll always be here for you."


End file.
